2012 - Ascension or Conundrum?
What is truth? Is it objective, subjective, all inclusive or mutually exclusive? Does it apply even when we deny it? Do we have the capacity to know it with our senses? Are we greater beings under limitations of modern science and spirituality? How about cosmic truth? Are we alone or preparing for a family reunion? Treat this work as fiction and don’t believe a word as it is a delicate weave of direct experience and postulations at best.
I would like to explore and share some possibilities while including some relevant personal experiences. I’ll tell you right up front that you’re current view of reality may change as a result…for the better. My adoptive parents told me my IQ was off the scale as an elementary student, but not until my early 30s. Maybe life would have been different had I really known. I became comfortable being a deep thinker with a somewhat brilliant mind. Now it often seems I know nothing and at times...
I was adopted by a wonderful couple who are still together after nearly 60 years (a feat in itself). My childhood was normal by most standards, although I found later that love and trust were not really that common in reality. That realization was minor, though, compared to a life-long experience of sensitivity to things beyond the normal standards.
By ‘sensitivity’ I mean esp, psychokinesis, telekinesis, out-of-body, contactee experiences and other-dimensional realities. Before I was even 10 years old I had out-of-body experiences and regular monthly excursions where I watched myself ascend into an orange cigar-shaped cloud. I placed no importance on these excursions, just that I couldn't wait until the next one. I did not speak of them to my parents as I had an earlier experience invalidated.
As a teenager in my first year of college, I managed to test out of nearly 5 quarters through the College Level Examination Program. I’d also broken up with my high school sweetheart, but returned after my first quarter to ask her to marry me. Turned out she got swooped up by another and was already married.
Nevertheless, my heart was broken and I suffered greatly. So from that place of feeling lost, alone and afraid I offered the most fervent prayer - to know 'truth' and willing to die for it if necessary. I wasn’t particularly religious, but I had a strong belief in things way outside the norm of human comprehension already.
Surprisingly, a few days later during a meditation after classes, a Voice I’d been familiar with for some years asked me if I was willing to die for what I believed in.
I was on the spot and in a split second acknowledged Christ and Cosmic Consciousness as my anchor and consequently found myself sort of sucked into the Light and then beyond, returning with a new found sense of faith, trust and allowance.
A New World Order would happen in my lifetime and I was going to be part of it! I knew what I was here to do and yet the 'how' has been a constant question since. Of course I shared the experience with my parents and their response was to immediately schedule me for psychological evaluation. They feared for me.
After several visits and deep discussion the psychiatrist, Dr. Abell revealed I was not crazy and had all the signs of a spiritual awakening, only he had no clue why I was going through it so young. Evidently most people don’t go through it until their 40’s, if ever, according to his research. What else was amazing – this man of psychology and science also studied the esoteric arts and metaphysical worlds.
Quite shocking was his inquiry about my knowledge of tarot cards and the reading he did for me. I was absolutely astounded at the information that appeared to roll out through the spread of the cards, much more in-depth and connected to my experiences to date. I left with a much better understanding and uplifted sense of self than ever, although his advice was not to share my story because I would be misunderstood at best. Now this was in 1975.
That kind of experience would throw most people completely out of whack and for a time I certainly was enveloped in this experience. I ignored the shrink’s advice and made valiant efforts to share what I had experienced just because it was so cool, let alone the implications. Ah, but the message got lost as the messenger became the focus once again.
Without a direct experience, the majority of the people could not possibly grasp the significance of the story and only heard the words of a lunatic. I have since learned of the great confusion and turmoil within the ‘messianic complex’ and its affects. The voice of one can be discounted, ignored and even sanctioned. Three decades later I believe it is now a voice of many, but still not quite understood by all.
Back at school the following year I had lost my fear of death and attempted to get back to the light through psychotropics. It worked eventually, but at my age I wasn’t sure what to do with the experience. I moved out of the honor’s dorm and into some deplorable living conditions, without my parent's knowledge, after buying a couple of sets of drums the following year.
I managed to create a support network for a short time, but it didn’t last long. It happened to be the worst winter (Indiana) in long time and I really pushed the envelope when I hitch-hiked into school at 5 am in -77 degree (wind chill) white-out conditions on January 10th. I’m lucky to be alive after that one, truly.
Later that night as I looked for some place to crash, I was accosted at a fraternity house, taken to the hospital, and spent the next six weeks in a psychiatric ward. My parents thought I needed help badly. Looking back I think they were absolutely right because I was determined to show them I could live without their support, but it was an unfortunate diagnosis: manic-depressive paranoid schizophrenic.
Now you have it, I’m absolutely mad. I’m sure it could’ve been more, but they simply were not prepared to deal with the rational actions and strategic planning for survival that was so intricately explained. It all simply had to be a complete fantasy.
Well, oftentimes folks that have no direct experience or way of verifying facts, steeped in books and theory of ‘scientific’ nature have difficulty converting information into understanding. I know I stretched the limits, but it was my life that was in the balance. I’m not a victim here; just chose the challenging path.
My only claim to 'sanity' was eventually learning what the psychiatrist needed to hear to deem me 'healed,' even though I had to suppress what I really wanted to discuss. It left me with a sadness I have carried for most of my life. The bizarre metaphysical experiences were the precursors to the rest of my explorations and all I wanted was some clarification and cooperation in the investigation, not condemnation and categorization.
I felt a great sense of loss through seeking open communication with a ‘professional’ and being discarded without so much as a moment of possible comprehension from them. This might have had something to do with a pattern I discovered later in life that allowed me to see how I showed up believing I had a lot to offer, but would get summarily rejected regardless.
The experiences were very real, however completely bereft of understanding to the masses and especially to modern psychiatry at the time. Through research I did find similar instances in many books in the ‘non-fiction,’ ‘extraterrestrial,’ ‘metaphysical’ and ‘spiritual’ categories as I sought confirmation of my sanity.
Fast forward a couple of decades or so, through a marriage and divorce with four children and now approaching 8 grandchildren; low to mid-level leadership positions in various corporate environments (aerospace to sales and marketing), a couple of master's degrees in business; secondary and post-secondary teaching, hypnotherapy and life coach certifications. I now consider myself an eduholic and quite qualified to admit I know nothing. And yet...
The messianic complex hopefully gives way to the realization that there are many with the same message. It is the individual experience that is so intense it gives ‘one’ a sense of being ‘all’ instead of being part of the team…no ‘I’ in team of course. What do we do now? How do we play in the sandbox with others?
Do we become leaders, followers, outcasts or misfits? How do we create together in truth? Do we know that we know we can create in truth? What is truth? Is truth meant to bring us together or separate into individuality? On the cusp of a planetary shift, what is the real story about 2012 and the end of a galactic year?
As truth seekers, we have a sense that all things are possible in magnetizing harmonious relationships. Libertarian and utilitarian positions in politics create a more challenging convergence. Unifying the military industrial complex with humanity to develop a healthy planetary administration is the ultimate challenge for any and all planetary stewards or world servers.
As visioneers we project the need for harmony of people and planet as being a primary truth in the evolution of our planetary civilization. I was told, through my ‘white light’ experience that it would happen in my lifetime. Hmmmm…. Can you believe it?
I am but an eduholic whose euphoriant has become direct knowing through direct experience. Yes, it has included altered states but I’ve remained inside the borders of rational thought. Through direct experience we can extrapolate other possibilities of stranger than fiction realities. Hopefully my writing style produces tangential tidbits in your own deliberations.
Sometimes I tap into a profound wisdom I can hardly claim, yet through my thoughts and fingers it comes, humbling the arrogant thinker in me. At other times I probe into the obvious with questions so simple yet complex in their answers it promotes a sense of awe and inspiration and is often too intimidating for those in my immediate surroundings.
I also like to think we all have a good BS meter and although optimism is grand, reality tends to challenge one's capacity to know truth in any given moment. Let's say we know truth. What affect/effect does truth really have on our reality? Is perception reality? What about universal truth? Is there one or some?
I'd like to explore the concept of truth as an internal connectedness; oneness of all things that leads to a holistic understanding of our planetary civilization and our capacity to evolve together. Wanna take a ride? Do you need to know where you are going first? Shall we just meander down the stream of consciousness?
First stop would be the conspiratorialists of world destruction and/or dominance – political, religious and otherwise who are looking for a way out, a panacea or evacuation. It would seem the prudent path is one to self-awareness and actualization, but then who has the market on thought control? So many articles, channelings and writings are appearing across the Web today regarding the coming shift of control on the planet, most of which are presenting information in an ‘Us vs. Them’ theme. What ever happened to working together for change?
According to several sources, some beneficent races of ETs are protecting us from total annihilation from another less scrupulous band of marauders. Funny that their information hasn't really changed in decades and nobody is really showing up to do either.
In reality humans are responsible for some pretty terrible things going on around the planet right now. We don’t need to be concerned about spiritual bad guys or the devil when we have such behavior among humans. In fact, I have been in many ‘spiritual’ realms and never experienced an ‘evil’ spirit. We can name many humans without thinking too hard on the subject.
Man's inhumanity to man continues to be far worse than any perceived alien threat. Just look at how the oil market is being manipulated and our dependency on oil is turning profit into terrorist funding. Don’t think so? Please do some research into OPEC’s market dominance and cultural history. You’ll find that oil has become the leading factor in affecting banking, housing and transportation today. Getting more doesn’t help, but shifting to flex-fueled vehicles, alcohol and bio-fuels sure would.
There are a growing number of people that are turning toward a different mindset and experience; one of simply greeting every moment with gratitude and willingness to change previous patterns while looking at new choices.
Our deepest nature acknowledges unconditional love and oneness in the capacity to love and be loved, but people are still getting blown to bits daily in the real world. What is that about? Why would an off-planet civilization, one of obvious technological advantage, want to engage such a barbaric society except to help it evolve?
Why do we continue to kill people to prove that killing people is wrong? Why do others continue to take life for granted, or worse yet want to eliminate the perceived infidels? How do we satisfy the need for consumption? Are we really capable of learning a better way? What will it take?
Do we really think there will be a mass intervention or would a wiser race let us simply destroy ourselves? I believe humanity is capable of rising to the occasion, learning to grow interdependently with our planet. Will we? This seems to be the central focus around 2012 as several ancient calendars show an ‘end of time’ as we know it.
Do you believe in death? Are you willing to die for what you believe in? Do you believe in life after death? Have you or do you know someone who has had a near death experience? Nearly every experiencer of inner space, near death, or spiritual revelation relates the story of feeling an unyielding Oneness, a sense of bewilderment and feeling of unconditional love beyond their imagination, whether in the Void or in the Light.
This same feeling or sense of unity surrounds many contactee stories as well. Yes, there are the opposite as well, but I can only speak of my direct experience in relating definite experiences that could have elicited great fear, yet because I held no attachments to superstitious beliefs or limited concepts of reality I found new freedom and connection with a consciousness far beyond the normal everyday routines in life.
Reports from the other side seem to reveal a paradox in that we carry our own judgments, otherwise they do not exist. Our thoughts and actions determine our reality, in other words. Imagine that there is no ultimate Judge, only our own record of behavior weighed with the internal gauge of love and our own perception. The spiritual sagas relate stories of the Light and the Void.
What if the sensations are the same in the Void as in the Light? What if there is a sense of total individuality and total inclusion in the Oneness, the yin/yang of the life cycle in consciousness? Could this be what the ‘end of time’ is? Are we moving toward a unified field theory that plays out as movement toward pragmatic ends?
The only judgments made in the realms of consciousness are our own. What a paradox in the face of the fear, guilt and shame game! What if we were able to carry that feeling with us, knowing it is what we will find at our next transition anyway?
Is this our challenge: to move from duality to Oneness in our own consciousness? What a challenge for humans! Are we more than just humans? Or do we just not understand what being human really means? We certainly sense the deep connection with loved ones and in compassionate activities. Is this natural?
Does a child not grow up to become an adult with the capacity to become a parent? What is a self-actualized human being? Could we be confusing crawl-ins, stand-ins and walk-ins because we have no frame of reference and still cannot claim our own growth toward magnificence? The natural resonance of what we have categorized as the various forms of love is obvious evidence that we have a deep-seated knowing that produces sensations when we violate our own values in living.
Our ethics demonstrate how we weigh our knowing of this love with the maligned perception of fear, guilt or shame promoted by those who wish dominance because the grip of their own fear is so unshakeable.
A self-actualized human being, in my opinion, would have achieved awareness through primary personal portals into the fabric of consciousness, at least becoming proficient in creating constructive scenarios with people, places and things. One who achieves a connected state is able to excel in creating good will and execution of strategic plans to actualize personal or professional goals.
Even those connected individuals realize that the challenge to remain connected is an ever-present moment. Now what about those who have extraordinary connectivity to things beyond the normal scope of human experience? How do they relate to a new living awareness, apparently on the rise due to our planet’s increased vibratory rate as a bi-product of our movement through space?
According to some sources, cosmic volunteers that become self-actualized human beings master experiential knowing and translate their wisdom into 'righteous' acts, promoting the good of the order and all. They are able to engage phenomena beyond our imagination and yet because of universal edicts, their lives are often hidden from public view.
